That Gross Feeling in the Pit of Your Stomach

Does anyone else get that gross feeling in the pit of your stomach when getting feedback? I do and it’s terrible. It makes me want to binge eat a bag of chocolate (check) and wash it down with too much wine (check check!).

Feedback is SO HARD because so much of what we’re really looking for when we ask someone to read our stuff is just a feeling of not being alone, that I’m-in-this-car-with-you-no-matter-where-you-want-to-go feeling. And getting feedback can sometimes feel like your passenger is all like, “Stop! Don’t go there! Don’t take those turns that way! What are you doing? Can you even drive this thing?”

Hence the gross stomach thing.

But there is a difference between the kind of feedback we like to get (Don’t change a thing!) and the kind we need (WerkWerkWerkWerkWerk). And while it’s nice to have someone read and make us feel special, what we need is someone to read our work and make us be better.

So as someone who gives a lot of feedback (and gets a fair amount!), here are my top three strategies for getting feedback:

(1) HONE IN ON THE POSITIVE THINGS FIRST. Ask your CP or Betas which parts they liked and get them to expand on why they liked those aspects. Oftentimes as CPs, we are so interested in helping to improve the work, we forget to say why the piece is worth improving.

(2) LISTEN FOR THE SPIRIT BEHIND THEIR CRITIQUES. So many times, I get feedback like, “You should change that girl’s clothing.” And if I took the feedback at face value, I would interpret that as: MY CP doesn’t like my character’s dress. Well screw her, I like pink! But the more important question to ask is, What is behind that comment? Why doesn’t my CP like that dress? What, for example, is discordant about it and the character? By pushing your CPs and your Betas to get at the spirit behind their comments rather than the comments themselves, you can get the most out of your feedback.

(3) REMEMBER THAT THIS IS WHY YOU WRITE. Your book is not a diary. It is not sealed with a dime-store lock, meant for your eyes only. It is a thing that exists to be read and to be reacted to and to be engaged with. So take a second to remind yourself, that that is exactly what is happening. You are an author of your WIP and these are your first readers. You are writing for them just as much as you are writing for the nameless, faceless human beings who will pick your book up at a B&N someday. So enjoy it. As much as possible.

Rochester Teen Book Fest 2017 & What Makes a Successful Writer

Writers are, by nature, curious people. One of the biggest areas of curiosity for us is what is the difference between a successful writer and one that is not. Is it talent? Is it persistence? Is it connections and slippery palms? What better way to answer this question than by meeting super successful writers in real life and analyzing their success.

Last week, I went to the Rochester Teen Book Festival, and here’s what I learned.

Successful writers are:

(1) Not the ones with the most degrees. They are the ones who never stop writing. A.G. Howard, author of Splintered, talked about how she only did one semester of college before realizing it wasn’t for her. Instead, she did her own thing. And she wrote. Like, a ton. She wrote her first book 12 times in two years. She wrote another 6 books after that before she finally got one published. If you don’t have that kind of stamina, and that kind of belief in yourself, you need to find it.

(2) The ones who get carried away by what is possible, not inhibited by what is not. Sarah J. Maas spoke about a book that she had meant to write as a novella–you know, a little 30k word piece, about a side character who gets to be the star of his own story. The result? She wrote a 100k+ novel that may be spinning into its own series. If she had been the “checkbox” type writer, that paint-by-number type writer who only wants to do what will make them $$, she never would have written that book. But she let herself be carried away by something different. As a result, she got to enjoy the act of writing and create something truly unique.

(3) The ones who know how to connect with their readers. Whether it was Sara Shepard, author of Pretty Little Liars, giving props to the fashion sense of the girls on her show, or Renee Ahdieh swooning over girls who kill, all these successful authors knew why readers came to their books, and they harnessed those qualities when speaking. It was a sight to see–watching all of these young girls go all fan girl on these authors because they were exactly the people who, from reading their books, the readers expected them to be. The cynical may call it successful branding. I call it knowing how to connect. Because as an author, you represent something more to your readers than just your book. You are their friend too.